Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i believe in u and ur pee
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
