My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
