Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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