I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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