Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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