I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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