Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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