No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize