you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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