We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
