how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
All the doctor said was why
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
