Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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