Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
