It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize