watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
