I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize