I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
