Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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