...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
