So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Randomize
