In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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