She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
