am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
