There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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