I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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