So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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