Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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