So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
