my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
