I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
