how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It's Friday. Sex?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
