so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
