So drunk its hurt
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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