living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize