i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
