i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
