evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
