You just made me feel so damn special
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
