I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize