what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
