yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
