thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
