I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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