How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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