You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
