This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Randomize
