You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
