so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
