She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
