you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we're chasing vodka with high fives
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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