help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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