I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
