Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
