he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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