I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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