just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
