I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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