Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize