TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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