There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
