I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
