he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
