Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
