Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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