She said her name was "party"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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