Rock
Scissors
Fuck
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
