like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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