i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
